Feeling emotional today....

Thomas started school a month ago and it seems that in the last week everything is clicking with him. He's talking so much more and he's much more confident in social situations. He's changing so fast it's making my head spin. Last week, he still seemed a little bit like a baby and lately he's moving towards boyhood with rapidly increasing speed. He's finally discovered the power of words and he's just delighting in it. He says mommy or daddy a hundred times a day just for the joy of having us respond to it.

He's singing songs, his favorites being Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, and The Wheels on The Bus. I'd been hearing him saying the words of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes but they were a little out of order so it took me awhile to realize it, but when I did I sang it to him and he just looked at me all stunned like he couldn't believe I knew that song too!

Today he had his first real dentist visit where they did more than just give his teeth a quick glance. He just laid back and wore the sunglasses and kept his hands folded on his belly button just like they told him to. I could tell he was nervous because his little belly was rising pretty quickly with each breath but he didn't cling to me or freak out. It was amazing. He acted the same at the doctor's office, no crying or trying to get away from them.

I'm so conflicted about all of it. Obviously I'm over the moon for him and so so so proud of all that's he's doing now but I also just feel sort of guilty. I should have taken him to more playgroups. I should have done this and that and blah blah blah. It hurts that school is encouraging such a large amount of growth in him. I've wanted to homeschool him for as long as he's been alive, but if he's doing so well in school then why would I change that? Even if my reasons for wanting to homeschool haven't changed...how do I know what's best for him? I thought I was doing everything right for him but I was failing.

The rational side of me says that school at 3 years old is very different from the coming years ahead. Just waiting the ten or so minutes for the bus to arrive is proof enough that I don't want my child being "socialized" by that group of kids. Luckily the brats get on the first bus and Thomas rides the one with the sweet kids every morning.

I also feel like maybe I am doing what's best for him by being flexible. I did notice that T needed some help and I sought it out for him and that's what good moms do. Still...I can't help but be angry that I'm not perfect, or guilty for not doing something sooner, or sad that he's growing so fast.

I never realized how bittersweet parenting was. This all encompassing love that just overshadows every fiber of who you used to be, balanced by the knowledge that you know none of it will last forever and you'll make mistakes and they'll grow up anyway.



Ahhhhh if I'm feeling this way when's he's three how the hell am I going to handle the rest of it. Word on the street is that this only gets harder....



Sorry if this is all rambly and ridiculous. I did warn you that I'm emotional. Though I'm pretty sure that my dad is the only one who reads here anymore and heaven knows he's dealt with my emotional outbursts more than once before, lol .

Catching up

We've been busy lately! We celebrated our 5th anniversary tonight and now my boys are asleep so I'm uploading pictures. I love pictures. Of course the pictures aren't in order but whatever.

Thomas got a couch. We went to the furniture store for a bookcase and ended up getting this as well. He loves it. He thinks it's hilarious to lay it out and pretend he's sleeping.

This was an idea I saw on pinterest and the box from the bookcase was perfect for it. I set this up while he was at school. It had been a rough start that day and I felt awful so I wanted to have this set up for him when he got home.


This is the first schoolwork he has brought home. I'll probably keep it forever. The first day of school was pretty rough on me, and the first day of him taking the bus was worse for the both of us but he did wonderfully after that first day. I think he was just confused about what was going on.





We've kept going with our preschool activities. He's only in real school two mornings a week.


We were learning about the letter D (is for dinosaur) or sinodaur if you're Thomas.

He gave all the dinosaurs rides on the train.


We also did a drop box for him. Lot of different shapes and sizes of holes for him to drop different items into. Then he would dump out the box and sort everything out again.


He loves do a dot markers.

This week we're doing V is for Valentine's Day.





It's been so much fun trying all of these new activities with him and watching him figure things out and think his actions out. It's so hard for me not to direct him too much but I'm trying really hard to just let him explore on his own. He always impresses me when I stay out of his way.

Is it really almost February?

We've had a lot of fun this week.
Do you think this gum will make me glamorous?

Here are some more of our preschool activities we've been doing. He really liked the lacing card!


He was pretty excited about the hammer too, but it faded a lot faster than I thought it would.

Water beads on the other hand are standing the test of time. He's asked for them multiple times over the past few days.

This weekend all of the cherry blossom festivals were going on but they're like an hour away and the crowds are bananas and we wanted to avoid that so we went to Kakazu Ridge instead. It's a battlesite and that's very depressing and makes me feel like a douche. It was beautiful though.


The sakura aren't in full bloom just yet. We want to go back next week to see a sea of pink!

The views were incredible. It was perfect weather and we could see almost to our house!



Here is one of the monuments at Kakazu.


If you click on these they should be big enough to read about the battle.



There were also two playgrounds there, complete with cement slides.

I went to take a picture of some hibiscus for my dad and found this spider. He's pretty cool isn't he?

Gotta stop for juice!





Right down the road there were two more parks so we went there too. 4 playgrounds by noon....Thomas was exhausted.

We weren't done though. It was just so nice out we couldn't go home so we went to the sunflower festival.

It was muddy and chock full of bees and random statues, but it was pretty and free!


I've still been crocheting almost everyday. It makes me happy. Here's my latest creation.

It's been awhile

I haven't posted here in forever. I miss blogging though so maybe I'll actually get back into it. Here's a little what we did today post.

We've spent more than six months going through the process of getting T evaluated for speech therapy and it's still dragging on so I figured I may as well just jump in and start preschool at home. We are still very seriously considering homeschooling so it's a fun way to sort of test it out. We're keeping it casual and fun, because he is only 3 after all!






This week we're learning about caterpillars and working on the number 3. He loves this little magnet game above.



We also made a Very Hungry Caterpillar. I didn't take a picture of the finished product but it's pretty cute!

This is his C is for Caterpillar coloring page. He doesn't really color anything though, he just makes lots of circles. Whatever floats his boat!

This is our little school area. We move the little marker from day to day on the calendar and we check out the weather as well. He loves the weather cards and always tells us when it's raining or windy or whatever. That shelf is where we keep our books of the week. He was very excited to see bug books on that shelf this week.


It's been really fun to see what sort of things he likes to do and what books he likes. He much prefers books with real pictures as opposed to cartoons and he has a deep love of anything that involves dry erase markers. He gets out the eraser and says "I clean?" It's adorable. I'm a little biased.