A tour well lived

I haven't written here in a long time...obviously, lol. It's been more than a year! It's hard to believe that we're less than 72 hours away from flying off this rock. This blog really helped me to work through the adventure of moving so far away and it's provided a great way to relive our memories as well. Of course as time went on we truly settled in and made Okinawa our home and I didn't need this outlet anymore. However, I just can't leave the island without a goodbye post.

We have loved our time on Okinawa. This was not an experience we asked for but we got it and we ran with it and now I wouldn't give these past few years up for anything. There are so many things I'll miss...

The sound of Eisa on warm summer nights
Festivals and fireworks galore
Ramen and rice and curry and corn on everything
Hunting Kit Kats from wasabi to cantaloupe
Beaches and sunsets and tidepooling
100 yen stores
Josh will miss the amazing underwater sights, like coral and snakes and whale sharks
The aquarium, especially the dolphin show
The endless variety of playgrounds and roller slides
Vending machines
Finding ridiculous random items like disposable men's panties

Then there are the people that we'll miss. When we lived in North Carolina I didn't put any effort into relationships. It seemed pointless since it was all going to be temporary anyway. It was a lonely way to live. So when we got here I had decided to put myself out there. I introduced myself to people at coffee and coloring. I started conversations at the playground and befriended people on facebook. The best decision I made was to join Okinawa Yarnies. I started attending their weekly meetings and then never really stopped. The members are constantly changing but the atmosphere of friendship and inappropriate conversations remains the same. They have been such a support system to me. I'm sure I'll be feeling some pangs of sadness on Monday nights for awhile. Another great decision was agreeing to spend our first NYE weekend camping with another family that I had met for about five minutes at the Battallion Halloween party. I still remember Kristina walking up to our cabin with cupcakes and thinking "Who is this Stepford wife, bringing cupcakes to a campsite?" They turned into our best friends and we spent all of our New Year's weekends camping with them since. Before we moved here I would read about how you can't go anywhere without seeing someone you know. It took awhile but this last year that has held true.

 I have grown so much through this adventure. I've learned so much about myself. I've learned that happiness really is a choice most of the time. I've been a negative and anxiety ridden person most of my life so this growth towards positivity and being grateful has had a huge impact on me.
Another reason that Okinawa will always hold a place in my heart is because this is the place where Thomas grew from a baby to a boy. He was almost 2 years old when we arrived and at the time I couldn't imagine what he would be like when he was almost 5. How has the time gone so fast?

I am so excited to be heading back to North Carolina. It will be fun to see what has changed and what is the same. It's also right in the middle of our families and we definitely can't wait to see them more often!

I keep waiting for some big emotions about this move. I haven't cried. I'm not jumping up and down. I'm just riding the wave, whatever will be will be. Of course there have been hiccups but I haven't lost my mind at any point. Funnily enough this has caused Josh to have a few freak outs. He's so used to me worrying enough for both of us that now he's stressed under the weight of worry. Luckily he got over this quickly. I think this is because moving halfway across the world is a great way to gain some perspective. When you know you have people in your life who make sure it's the right time to call with the time difference, who sends cards and gifts early to make sure they arrive, who buy plane tickets and travel across the globe to see you...well then who really cares about the small things.The only thing that really matters is relationships. I've got my husband and my son. We've got our families and friends all over the world and that is worth everything.

Goodbye Okinawa. We love you.

Feeling emotional today....

Thomas started school a month ago and it seems that in the last week everything is clicking with him. He's talking so much more and he's much more confident in social situations. He's changing so fast it's making my head spin. Last week, he still seemed a little bit like a baby and lately he's moving towards boyhood with rapidly increasing speed. He's finally discovered the power of words and he's just delighting in it. He says mommy or daddy a hundred times a day just for the joy of having us respond to it.

He's singing songs, his favorites being Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, and The Wheels on The Bus. I'd been hearing him saying the words of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes but they were a little out of order so it took me awhile to realize it, but when I did I sang it to him and he just looked at me all stunned like he couldn't believe I knew that song too!

Today he had his first real dentist visit where they did more than just give his teeth a quick glance. He just laid back and wore the sunglasses and kept his hands folded on his belly button just like they told him to. I could tell he was nervous because his little belly was rising pretty quickly with each breath but he didn't cling to me or freak out. It was amazing. He acted the same at the doctor's office, no crying or trying to get away from them.

I'm so conflicted about all of it. Obviously I'm over the moon for him and so so so proud of all that's he's doing now but I also just feel sort of guilty. I should have taken him to more playgroups. I should have done this and that and blah blah blah. It hurts that school is encouraging such a large amount of growth in him. I've wanted to homeschool him for as long as he's been alive, but if he's doing so well in school then why would I change that? Even if my reasons for wanting to homeschool haven't changed...how do I know what's best for him? I thought I was doing everything right for him but I was failing.

The rational side of me says that school at 3 years old is very different from the coming years ahead. Just waiting the ten or so minutes for the bus to arrive is proof enough that I don't want my child being "socialized" by that group of kids. Luckily the brats get on the first bus and Thomas rides the one with the sweet kids every morning.

I also feel like maybe I am doing what's best for him by being flexible. I did notice that T needed some help and I sought it out for him and that's what good moms do. Still...I can't help but be angry that I'm not perfect, or guilty for not doing something sooner, or sad that he's growing so fast.

I never realized how bittersweet parenting was. This all encompassing love that just overshadows every fiber of who you used to be, balanced by the knowledge that you know none of it will last forever and you'll make mistakes and they'll grow up anyway.



Ahhhhh if I'm feeling this way when's he's three how the hell am I going to handle the rest of it. Word on the street is that this only gets harder....



Sorry if this is all rambly and ridiculous. I did warn you that I'm emotional. Though I'm pretty sure that my dad is the only one who reads here anymore and heaven knows he's dealt with my emotional outbursts more than once before, lol .

Catching up

We've been busy lately! We celebrated our 5th anniversary tonight and now my boys are asleep so I'm uploading pictures. I love pictures. Of course the pictures aren't in order but whatever.

Thomas got a couch. We went to the furniture store for a bookcase and ended up getting this as well. He loves it. He thinks it's hilarious to lay it out and pretend he's sleeping.

This was an idea I saw on pinterest and the box from the bookcase was perfect for it. I set this up while he was at school. It had been a rough start that day and I felt awful so I wanted to have this set up for him when he got home.


This is the first schoolwork he has brought home. I'll probably keep it forever. The first day of school was pretty rough on me, and the first day of him taking the bus was worse for the both of us but he did wonderfully after that first day. I think he was just confused about what was going on.





We've kept going with our preschool activities. He's only in real school two mornings a week.


We were learning about the letter D (is for dinosaur) or sinodaur if you're Thomas.

He gave all the dinosaurs rides on the train.


We also did a drop box for him. Lot of different shapes and sizes of holes for him to drop different items into. Then he would dump out the box and sort everything out again.


He loves do a dot markers.

This week we're doing V is for Valentine's Day.





It's been so much fun trying all of these new activities with him and watching him figure things out and think his actions out. It's so hard for me not to direct him too much but I'm trying really hard to just let him explore on his own. He always impresses me when I stay out of his way.

Is it really almost February?

We've had a lot of fun this week.
Do you think this gum will make me glamorous?

Here are some more of our preschool activities we've been doing. He really liked the lacing card!


He was pretty excited about the hammer too, but it faded a lot faster than I thought it would.

Water beads on the other hand are standing the test of time. He's asked for them multiple times over the past few days.

This weekend all of the cherry blossom festivals were going on but they're like an hour away and the crowds are bananas and we wanted to avoid that so we went to Kakazu Ridge instead. It's a battlesite and that's very depressing and makes me feel like a douche. It was beautiful though.


The sakura aren't in full bloom just yet. We want to go back next week to see a sea of pink!

The views were incredible. It was perfect weather and we could see almost to our house!



Here is one of the monuments at Kakazu.


If you click on these they should be big enough to read about the battle.



There were also two playgrounds there, complete with cement slides.

I went to take a picture of some hibiscus for my dad and found this spider. He's pretty cool isn't he?

Gotta stop for juice!





Right down the road there were two more parks so we went there too. 4 playgrounds by noon....Thomas was exhausted.

We weren't done though. It was just so nice out we couldn't go home so we went to the sunflower festival.

It was muddy and chock full of bees and random statues, but it was pretty and free!


I've still been crocheting almost everyday. It makes me happy. Here's my latest creation.

It's been awhile

I haven't posted here in forever. I miss blogging though so maybe I'll actually get back into it. Here's a little what we did today post.

We've spent more than six months going through the process of getting T evaluated for speech therapy and it's still dragging on so I figured I may as well just jump in and start preschool at home. We are still very seriously considering homeschooling so it's a fun way to sort of test it out. We're keeping it casual and fun, because he is only 3 after all!






This week we're learning about caterpillars and working on the number 3. He loves this little magnet game above.



We also made a Very Hungry Caterpillar. I didn't take a picture of the finished product but it's pretty cute!

This is his C is for Caterpillar coloring page. He doesn't really color anything though, he just makes lots of circles. Whatever floats his boat!

This is our little school area. We move the little marker from day to day on the calendar and we check out the weather as well. He loves the weather cards and always tells us when it's raining or windy or whatever. That shelf is where we keep our books of the week. He was very excited to see bug books on that shelf this week.


It's been really fun to see what sort of things he likes to do and what books he likes. He much prefers books with real pictures as opposed to cartoons and he has a deep love of anything that involves dry erase markers. He gets out the eraser and says "I clean?" It's adorable. I'm a little biased.

What we've been up to

I've barely blogged lately. Okinawa just doesn't feel so new and fresh anymore that I'm excited to write about it. Thomas is always good for an adventure though and we have been keeping him busy.



He is loving Halloween this year. He talks about "scady ghosts" all day. He loves spidey's and bats and gets very excited while talking about trick or treating and getting candy. He was pretending to be a ghost in his Dad's hoodie.


This picture is two milestones for my boy. One, he's forward facing....breaks my heart. The other is that this was his last day with his binkie. He barely even whined for it too so we think he was ready to move on from it.


We've gone to the beach a lot lately. I think it's because I know winter will be here before I know it and we want to hang out by the ocean as much as we can when it's warm.


We've been trying to do more "school" type activities with T. Just keeping it fun and casual and focusing on things he wants to learn about. He loves letters, especially W. He also much prefers painting to coloring.

He's been loving his dinosaur book he got for his birthday and really likes the poster that came with it.

These next few pictures are of him telling me all about the different things we could carve into our pumpkin. He carries around the book of them like it's a storybook.


These are all out of order. I don't like blogger for this reason. Anyway, this is more of the school type activities we've been doing. He really liked the prewriting practice and cheered when he got the trick or treaters to the haunted house. I hold his hand for the first few ones and then I let him go on his own.

Josh teaches him things too, like how to use the rubber grip for jars to open the fridge.

And feed himself grapes.

He built this whole track almost by himself. He needed a little help at the end to connect the loop but he was so close to doing it alone.

All of these pictures really hit home that he's not a baby anymore. We're having so much fun with him!