A big step.

Growing up I always thought I would have two children. Everyone has two children. It's just what you do.

I was wrong. (Shhh, don't tell Josh, or my mom)

Josh went to the doctor today to ask about getting a vasectomy. All Josh has to do is get command approval and they'll do it, and Josh's OIC didn't care at all. I'm pretty amazed it was so simple as we had heard that there's no way they would do the surgery on a 20 something with only one kid.
(Which frankly, really pisses me off, the military is in charge of so much in my life, the last place they need to stick their noses in is in the size of our family) Rant over. So anyway that was big weight off my shoulders to know that it won't be a big deal.

I'm aware that not everyone will be happy with this decision but at the end of the day we have to do what's best for our family. Our little threepack is perfect as it is.

We have been talking about this since Thomas was born. Well, to be perfectly honest we spent about six months dancing around the topic, neither of us wanting to admit we were happy with one, for fear of limiting the other's wants. Eventually it came out and I think we were both relieved to admit it and even more so that we agreed with each other. We agreed to wait awhile to make sure we weren't making this decision due to sleep deprivation, but now more than a year later we are even more confident in our decision.


I adore being a mom. It's truly just the coolest job on the planet, but I think that every mom would agree with me that it's also really hard. I want so much for him and I believe that in stopping with our only that we can give him so much.

Sometimes I think I'm a freak, because other women are so baby crazy and I'm just not. I like babies, don't get me wrong, but they're kind of boring and needy. I see newborns all the time and after the initial "Aww so cute!" I think, "Thank God it's not me."

I think that says a lot.


I did so much reading about only children. I hunted down forums, asked friends, read blogs about only children trying to find out about their lives. It seems that the stereotype of maladjusted freak only child is just plain wrong. There are decades of research to prove this, as well as a lot of anecdotal evidence as well that only children are turning out just as well, if not a little bit better than children with siblings. It's also one of the fastest growing family groups in America.

Our biggest reasons were emotional, financial and logistical. Emotionally, I lost my damn mind after Thomas was born. It was awful. I don't ever want to be that out of control ever again. It also took a toll on our marriage. It's very important to me that Thomas has a healthy loving relationship between his parents. Josh and I are both introverted and need alone time. With only one child we're able to have our alone time, our couple time and our family time without cheating any of the other areas. I'm also not the most patient person, nor do I thrive on chaos. I believe Thomas will benefit from a mom who isn't stretched thin and overwhelmed.
Financially, raising kids is expensive. I'm sure it could be cheaper but I don't want to sacrifice my ideals. I want him to have organic food. I want to homeschool/private school him. We want to be able to let him explore whatever interests he has, to travel, etc. We want to have a retirement plan in place and funded so that he will never have to carry the burden of our care on his shoulders when we're old. It's also important to us to be able to travel and visit family, which will always be easier to afford and execute with only us three.

Tonight we took a walk down the beach at sunset. It was high tide so there wasn't any of that gross low tide fish smell, the waves were gentle and the sky was a beautiful array of pink, orange and purple and as I walked with my men I realized that all of my rational reasons don't matter so much. What it really comes down to is that I'm truly enjoying my life. I love parenting more as Thomas grows. I'm not pining away for his babyhood. I celebrate every new milestone without any real longing for the past. When we're walking and Thomas reaches for both of our hands, or when we're asleep and Thomas has his arms stretched out so he can touch both of us, or when he busts into one of our hugs and demands kisses from both of us...well it just feels perfect to me. Whole. Complete. Content.


In other news....out stuff is through customs and *should* be delivered on Saturday. I'm not holding my breath but I'll be so glad to have some of our belongings back. It's probably another month until we get our furniture, but at least we'll have some of it!